Bridal Shower Planning Timeline: What to Do 3 Months Out to Party Day

I design the shower and party templates in this shop, so I spend a lot of time on the paper side of a party: what has to be on the invitation and when it needs to go out. Here's the timeline I'd hand a new host.

Start about three months out by settling the host, the date and the guest list with the couple. Send invitations four to eight weeks before the shower, and ask for RSVPs two to three weeks ahead. That's common etiquette guidance, so treat it as a guide, not a rule.

3 months out: host, date and guest list

Agree on who's hosting first. It's often the maid of honor, the bridesmaids or family, and whoever hosts usually covers most of the cost. If a few people are splitting it, talk about the budget now, before anyone books anything.

Then pick a date and get the guest list from the couple. They should sign off on it, because the usual guidance is that anyone invited to the shower should also be invited to the wedding (Emily Post Institute).

2 months out: venue, theme and a registry check

Book the place, whether that's a restaurant room or someone's living room. Choose a theme or a color, which makes every later decision easier. And check that the couple's registry is live before the invitations go out, so guests have somewhere to look.

4 to 8 weeks out: send the invitations

Here's what the invitation needs:

• Who's hosting
• Who the shower is for
• The date, plus a start and an end time
• The address
• Who to RSVP to, how, and by when
• Registry details, if the couple has one

If a lot of guests are traveling, send them a little earlier so they can plan.

2 to 4 weeks out: RSVPs, food, games and printables

Follow up with anyone who hasn't replied. A short text is fine. Once you have a headcount, order or plan the food, and decide on games. Print signs, game sheets and anything else on paper now rather than the night before, so a printer jam isn't a crisis.

Party day: a simple run of show

Here's a sample for a three hour shower. Move it around to fit your crowd.

• First 30 minutes: guests arrive, drinks and mingling
• Next hour: food
• Next 30 minutes: one or two games
• Next hour: opening gifts, then cake

Two games is plenty. People came to see the bride, and gifts take longer than you'd think.

After: thank-you notes

The guest of honor writes thank-you notes for gifts. Have someone keep a list of who gave what while gifts are opened, which makes the notes much easier. Most guides suggest sending them within a month (Martha Stewart).

Questions people ask